Life Strategies Summer Series # 4: Find The Roots of Your Anger and Yank it Up
Of all the emotions on earth, the one most humans seem to most freely express is anger. This is a very dangerous emotion. Mostly, because it leads to the bulk of violence around the planet. When I say violence I don't mean just military conflicts. I mean brothers hitting sisters. I mean sisters hitting sisters (and bothers). I mean parents punching and slapping children. I mean kids pulling out guns on the playground. Its all a branch expression of anger. One second of unfocused anger has landed millions of people untold years in prison and even more in execution chambers. Don't let the next person you know be YOU!
But what are the root of anger?
For some, its fear. If people are bullied long enough, and endure in silence they can lash out violently with zero notice. Most people say that person went "over the edge". But the truth is, that long periods of humiliation almost always result in an angry outburst at some point. Some fear those of different racial, religious groups or genders. They attack those people falsely believing that they are really doing some good. Its never good.
Yet anger can be displayed with a level of dignity (meaning the person defends themselves from the bully by getting an adult or discovers their self worth and defends themselves). Or, it can become a twisted mass of pain an evolve into things like Columbine.
For most, anger is usually something thats wrong inside them. It comes some say, from a sense of entitlement. They believe that they have a "right" over this friendship, this boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, child, etc. that justifies the reason they slap, choke, or slam someone.You never have that right. Unless you are truly defending yourself (or your family) and there is no other way out, there is pretty much no reason to be violent toward another human being. May times we try to play things up to make them seem more dangerous than they are so we can justify it. We put fake moral frames around it to make it seem like we are a hero. But we're not. Its just another cowardly act, clothed in another lie.
My son and I were talking about a book on leadership he's reading. He quoted a line from the book "They leave the root but try to set up the branches." If you try to set up hollow branches of fake smiles and laughs around an angry root, its bound to show up eventually.
Find the roots of your anger and face them down. If that means verbally confronting a bully- then do it. But don't allow yourself to become a bully in the process. If you find a bully staring you back in the mirror, take a moment to really think about why you do what you do. Find its root and yank it up.
The only good anger that I have found, is anger over things that affect common justice. If you see someone being bullied, it should anger you and you should do something to stop it. Tell an adult or tell the person doing the bullying that its wrong.
If you see an animal being abused, an elderly person being neglected it should make you mad. You should do something about it. Take action! But action does not have to mean being violent. Anger is normal. But how you express it, is totally up to you. Learn to uproot your anger so you can let it empower you, not destroy you.